When our vet told us to make arrangements for Morgan because there was nothing else he could do for him, I was devastated. Saying good-bye is never easy. It crushes you. I’d done this twice before for my first two boys, Angel Nicholas and Angel Willy. I remember the agony I felt when Nicholas was no longer able to walk, and no longer wanted to. Then again, when Willy suffered from congestive heart failure. Nighttime is always more difficult. During the day you can find something to do. Even if it’s just sweeping the floor.
Since we no longer had a back yard, we thought we were going to need to cremate Morgan. The thought that someone was going to take him away from me and bring him back in a box made me distraught. I spoke with our Golden friends, Doug and Al, Rocky’s Dads. They offered to let us bury Morgan in their yard. They had four Goldens already buried in their upper garden and said there was room for Morgan. It was a kind gesture and it brought me some comfort. I told them we would probably be traveling north soon.
I had lifted Morgan onto the bed so he’d be more comfortable. Throughout the day I checked on him at least several dozen times, hoping for a change. I sat with him. I laid next to him. But Morgan remained in this sad listless condition. Twilight was fast approaching.
I was in the kitchen making our dinner. When I checked on Morgan again his head was up off the mattress. What a wonderful sight it was to see. As suddenly as he fell into that lethargic state, he snapped out of it and his famous smile returned. Food had always been a motivator for Morgan so he must have really liked the smell of the tomato sauce that I was cooking.
As relieved and grateful as I was, I wasn’t convinced that we had much more time with Morgan. Even though he was now alert, we still had to carry him in and out to do his business. I wasn’t sure what to do. I certainly didn’t want him to suffer or be in any discomfort just to keep him alive.
I reached out to some friends and the general consensus was that Morgan was not ready to leave us. So we decided to buy him a red Radio Flyer wagon to ride him around in for our morning walk. Thus, began our daily wagon-walks with Morgan.;